Beauty of maths

1 x 1 = 1
11 x 11 = 121
111 x 111 = 12321
1111 x 1111 = 1234321
11111 x 11111 = 123454321
111111 x 111111 = 12345654321
1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321
11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321
111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

Prabha's

The doctor's view of the bail out.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, and the Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas. The Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no, and the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve, and the Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception. The Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. The Pathologists yelled, 'Over my dead body!' while the Pediatricians said, 'Oh, grow up!' The Plastic Surgeons said, 'This puts a whole new face on the matter.' The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, while The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness. The Radiologists could see right through it, and the Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing, but the Urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water. In the end, the Proctologists left the decision up to some assholes in Washington.

From Shiang

Error! Filename not specified.

I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and have little chance of recovery.

Error! Filename not specified.

I no longer open a public bathroom door without using a paper towel or have them put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.
Error! Filename not specified.
I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the number one pastime while driving alone is picking ones nose (although cell phone usage may be taking the number one spot).
Error! Filename not specified.
Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine how many gallons of trans fats I have consumed over the years.
Error! Filename not specified.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of a public bathroom.


I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about poop in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every envelope that needs sealing.

Error! Filename not specified.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Error! Filename not specified. Error! Filename not specified.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.
Error! Filename not specified.

I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
Error! Filename not specified.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my pray ers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
Error! Filename not specified.

I no longer can buy gasoline without taking someone along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm pumping gas.

Error! Filename not specified.

I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr. Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put 'Under God' on their cans.
Error! Filename not specified.

I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
Error! Filename not specified.
AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave anymore because it will blow up in my face... disfiguring me for life.

I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer receive packages from UPS or Fed Ex since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don't support our American troops or the Salvation Army.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan .
Error! Filename not specified.

I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.
Error! Filename not specified.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up $5.00 dropped in the parking lot because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

I can no longer drive my car because I can't buy gas from certain gas companies!
Error! Filename not specified.
I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the brown recluse and my hand will fall off.
Error! Filename not specified.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. tomorrow afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician . . .

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Oh, by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Again from Prabha

<>

Bernard Siow's forwarded email

Had to pass this one on. Its such a nice story and it may prompt a kindness of the same from us.

Two Choices

What would you do?....you make the choice. Don't look
for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My
question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children
with learning disabilities, the father of one of the
students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten
by all who attended. After extolling the school and its
dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences,
everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do.
He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'



The audience was stilled by the query.



The father continued. 'I believe that when a child
like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes
into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature
presents itself, and it comes in the way other people
treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:



Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay
knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think
they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys
would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a
father I also understood that if my son were allowed to
play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging
and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his
handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not
expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around
for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs
and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on
our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the
ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a
broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small
tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy
at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored
a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and
played in the right field. Even though no hits came his
way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on
the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from
the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored
again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential
winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next
at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away
their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that
a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even
know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with
the ball.



However, as Shay stepped up to the

plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was
putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life,
moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay
could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the
ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a
slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have
easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end
of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first
baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling,
'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made
it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second,
gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

B y the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right
fielder had the ball . the smallest guy on their team who
now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the
tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he,
too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the
third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners
ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way
Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop
ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third
base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the
spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run
home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered
as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for
his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now
rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams
helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this
world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that
winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making
me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully
embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a
second thought, but when it comes to sending messages
about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through
cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often
suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message,
chances are that you're probably sorting out the
people in your address book who aren't the
'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message
Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all
can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day
to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people
present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or
do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a
little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it
treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

Prabha's ten commandments on marriage

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; the trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Every woman wants a man who is handsome, understanding, economical and a considerate lover, but again, the law allows only one husband.

Commandment 10.
Man is incomplete until he marries. After that, he is finished.

Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny.
The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned.
The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"

What Colour are you?

The best poem of 2006

This poem was nominated by UN as the best poem of 2006, Written by an
African Kid





When I born, I black
When I grow up, I black
When I go in Sun, I black
When I scared, I black
When I sick, I black
And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow
When you born, you pink
When you grow up, you white
When you go in sun, you red
When you cold, you blue
When you scared, you yellow
When you sick, you green
And when you die, you gray

And you calling me colored?